Talk to many people.
It helps you to understand that we have no reason to complain about our life.
Everyone fights for their own world.
To fix their broken heart.
To make their parents happy.
To get their dream job.
To survive the traffic on their way to the office.
To make friends in a new place.
To find their true love.
To forget their ex.
To reconcile with their past.
To be a better partner.
To recover from their illness.
To claim their holiday.
To get closer to their family and friends.
To be an excellent chef.
To pay their bills.
To finish everything they have already started.
Woodside, Glasgow, 19/08/2017
WE NEVER US
I was so afraid that I won’t get any chance to fall in love again.
So when I met you,
When we talked,
When we walked,
When we laughed,
When we argued,
When we were on silent,
When you drove the car,
When you offered me your food,
When you complained about my silly bag,
When you told me I was weird,
When you made me a cup of tea,
When you hugged me,
When you asked how my day was,
I was sure it was you.
You were the person.
Our first text.
Our first conversation.
Our first trip.
It was all about you.
It has been months and months you were damaging my brain and you still are.
Seconds go by, I know things would never be happened between us.
There were so many reasons that it didn’t work out between you and me.
We were strangers from an opposite side, from a different world.
I cannot hate you for entering my life.
It was never your fault, neither mine.
The universe only wanted us to find each other randomly and part way sooner.
Send me the wedding invitation in two years.
Let me know if you manage to buy that island you’ve been dreaming of.
Text me if you move back to London.
Hopefully, you will find that beautiful small house with massive garden.
And get back to me when you summit the Everest.
Life is a real bear.
You will be dragged into the storm, massive earthquake, torrential rain, roaring thunder, flowing water.
Life is a real bear.
you will run through tremendous pain, helpless heartbreak, awful rejection, miserable tragedy, ruthless sadness.
Life is a real bear.
It’s hard, but you’ll be fine.
We should have talked about aliens, animals, stars, what makes you scared, sadness, happiness, photographs, sea, loneliness, traffic, beliefs, books, first heartbreaks, first love, weirdness, foods, clothes, sciences, light rain, toast, hate, scars, balloons, valleys, poems, best gigs, accidents, parks, nervousness, regrets, pains, pride, hopes, wishful thinking, prayer, dreams, what keeps you awake, hunger, messages, phone calls, goodbyes, tattoos, flaws, schools, being single, everything!
But then I stumbled. My mouth shut. My brain didn’t function. Sorry I wasn’t laughing at your jokes.
You don’t eat avocado with toast, do you?
Yeah I do. That’s what British do.
But you’re not British.
Well, I am sort of.
THREE YEARS LATER
So you married now, she points out the ring on his finger.
Yeah, he replied. You?
I guess I will after knowing that you do, she smiles.
What do you mean? His voice raised.
You know, I always have a thing for you. Always. But I guess after we met couple times, I knew that we’re not on the same page. There is no way for me to show you what I feel.
What are you crazy? He stops.
No, I’m not, she looks him in the eyes. I remember the day I wished for someone so adventurous, humble, and smart. Then you came into my life suddenly. Out of nowhere.
You never told me that! He rages.
Anyway. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for the stories. It’s been pleasure knowing a person like you, really. She ready to go.
See you when I see you, I guess.
As I walked away.
As I took steps further.
As I kept you from distance.
Just before you turn into the haze.
The ghost-grey that is frightening.
I was wondering.
Will I see you in the morning?
On the train home, Carlisle, England, 2017
ARE WE STRANGERS?
We like the idea of us being at the same moment.
Being together. Being present.
The time we spent. The places we visited.
The roads we took. The jokes we told.
The view we saw. The music we listened.
The foods we ate. The room we shared.
But that was all for us to loose ends.
Our personality even doesn’t fit as friends.
Eskdale, England, 2017.
If I have been among the arrogant.
If I have been among the dishonest.
If I have been among the intolerant.
If I have been among the untrustworthy.
If I have been among the bully.
If I have been among the greedy.
If I have been among the careless.
We seek forgiveness from Allah, the Beneficent the Merciful.
Until we meet again, Ramadan. Eid Mubarak!
Written on day #24 of Ramadan (25/06) 2017 in Glasgow.
You are the sun to my moon.
You are summer to my winter.
You are sweet to my bitter.
You are beer to my soda.
You are mean to my kind.
You are rough to my soft.
You are South to my North.
You are brave to my fear.
You are fast to my slow.
You are disbelieved to my belief.
You are Pink Floyd to my Paramore.
You are staying. I am leaving.
Midnight wander, Glasgow, 2017
She broke her own heart.
Creating her own dreams.
He didn’t do anything wrong.
She woke up every morning, broken.
She sobbed every night, shattered.
Is an answer.
Three things I’m afraid of:
Death of my parents.
A van struck the pedestrian.
INTO THE CULMINATION
We sat down. We looked each other in the eyes. We were at the dinner table. Table for two. Foods were still hot.
I hope someday I can summit K2, him saying.
You won’t survive K2. You’ll die, her saying.
I won’t die. You worry, him asking.
No, I’m being realistic, her saying.
Come with me and we can die together, him offering.
Then she realizes, she’s not Juliet Capulet.
I’m getting married next month. You coming to the wedding, yeah?
It’s still surreal knowing that I’m pregnant. We’re over the moon.
Yeah, my wife is in labor. I hope everything will be alright.
15 unread messages.
Our dear friend has gone in peace this afternoon. We are on our way to the funeral home.
You holding something back. Why?
No, I’m not.
Yes, you are.
You don’t know me.
I know you, we’ve been together for…
TWO DAYS. ONLY TWO DAYS.
Her voice raised.
Him on silent.
Let’s go home.